Sea state rising
BEAUFORT 0

Marine notice ◆ SOL / BRELLA ◆ issued continuously

Bad umbrella. Excellent boat.

Rika’s umbrella flipped. She called it a boat. Now the storm works for her.

Contract 4HoUp5FkWNs69hoCNx7kEYJLFGN5KHSyw5xejfv7pump
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01 — the flip

Three seconds of umbrella.

T + 0.0 s

Rika looking up as rain falls from a deep blue sky

The rain arrived early and without paperwork. The umbrella was, briefly, an umbrella.

T + 3.0 s

The umbrella inverted, with both paws on the rim

It inverted. Every rib pointed the wrong way. Structurally, this is a failure.

T + 3.1 s

Rika sailing the umbrella past a golden fish island

She climbed inside and put both paws on the rim. Structurally, this is a boat.

Most cats would have run for shelter. Rika climbed inside.

She placed both paws on the rim, pointed the golden fish toward dry land, and declared herself captain. The storm expected a frightened kitten. Instead, it got a boat.

Now CatwifBrella sails directly through every bad forecast. Nobody knows how the umbrella floats. Rika has declined to explain.

  • VesselOne (1) umbrella, inverted
  • PropulsionWeather
  • NavigationGolden fish, decorative
  • RudderNone fitted
  • Bilge pumpDeclined
  • CaptainRika, tabby, unbothered

02 — the forecast desk

You are the weather now.

The Bureau of Bad Weather holds twelve units of severity and one vessel it has never sunk. Spend them however you like, issue the forecast, and watch what she does with it.

Severity budget

0 of 12 units committed

The Bureau has tried a great many combinations. It has never tried issuing nothing at all.

Awaiting forecast Sea state 0
Forecasts issued2,914
Seaworthiness48%
Vessels lost0

Every result is logged by the Bureau. The Bureau does not enjoy this.

03 — what’s aboard

The whole manifest fits in an umbrella.

Total supply

1,000,000,000

$BRELLA. Every one of them wet.

Tax

0 / 0

Buy, sell, drift. The sea charges nothing.

Liquidity

Burned

Thrown overboard on purpose.

Ownership

Renounced

There is a captain, not an owner.

Crew

Everyone

Room in the umbrella is theoretical.

Rudder

None

Fitting one was discussed. It was not fitted.

Harbour report

connecting
Price—
Market cap—
24h—
24h volume—

The vessel has not been charted yet. This readout goes live the moment Dexscreener finds her.

04 — coming aboard

Boarding procedure.

  1. 01

    Get a wallet

    Phantom, Solflare, whichever you like. It is the dry bag. Keep the words inside it secret.

  2. 02

    Put SOL in it

    Buy on any exchange, then send it to your wallet address. A little goes surprisingly far in an umbrella.

  3. 03

    Swap for $BRELLA

    Paste the contract into pump.fun or Jupiter, set your slippage, confirm. Welcome aboard the rim.

  4. 04

    Stay in the boat

    There is no step five. There is no rudder. Weather is not an emergency here, it is the engine.

05 — the heading

Course plotted by a fish.

  1. Waypoint 01

    Launch

    The vessel enters the water. The water objects. The vessel continues.

  2. Waypoint 02

    Charted

    Dexscreener finds her. The harbour report stops apologising and starts reporting.

  3. Waypoint 03

    The fleet

    More umbrellas. Same weather. Nobody explains how any of them float.

  4. Waypoint 04

    Dry land

    The golden fish says it is this way. The golden fish is, and has always been, a fish.

06 — all hands

There is room. Probably.

The forecast is bad in every direction, which is the only condition this vessel has ever been tested in. Come and stand on the rim.

Buy $BRELLA Join the crew